Year four was one of change.

My brother left for college in early fall. There were several from the church who had graduated and gone on to college. The youth group shrunk considerably which also impacted the church dynamics.

Having survived seventh grade I expected eighth grade to be difficult. I don’t remember thinking about two options that would give me a sense of safety but I did engage in two specific actions.

The first was to wake up early on school days. I would take a bath, wash my hair and dress before anyone else was awake. After that I would prepare breakfast. After the meal we had to have family devotions. As soon as that was over I left for school arriving at least an hour early. By getting there early I could find different places to stay low profile. If I wasn’t noticed, I thought the teasing and taunting would be less likely to happen.

The second tactic was to try to get the most popular guy in my class to become my friend. If he accepted me, I thought others would follow suit. This was my first foray into co-dependency. My identity was defined by how I was treated by this guy. It was a tug and pull because sometimes I was included and other times I was ignored. There were groups of friends who regularly met up on nights and weekends. If these were not school related get togethers, I was not included.

Church was somewhat different because we did have group activities. Teenagers from other towns would participate. Whereas these communities were spaced in miles ranging from 13 to 30 my reputation from school went beyond the town limits to these other towns. It was common knowledge that I was not accepted at school which amplified the opinions of the church members and out of town attendees about me.

At home we had to adjust to my brother being away. For the first time I did not have to share a bedroom. I was able to rearrange the room to my preferences. At night I would listen to the radio finding stations from around the country. I had started collecting vinyl albums some of which I still have.

The family settled into a routine that was low drama. It was the calm before the storm.